Wow, ballet is HARD! Like, duh, right? I mean, I knew it would be difficult but I'm really struggling. I think the major problem is that, even though I'm enrolled in a "beginner adult ballet" class, I'm the only beginner. I feel like I'm the only one who can't keep up and that's because I am the only one who can't keep up! There are ladies in this class who have clearly been doing this a long time. In fact, I was speaking with one of my classmates and she told me that she has been in this class for four years! No wonder everyone knows what they're doing! Also, there are teenagers in this class dropping in and they very obviously have been doing this their whole lives. After class, a good portion of the "adults" stick around for the pointe class. Beginners don't do pointe! Why am I in a class with dancers who are trained enough to be able to do pointe work???
I guess I thought I would be in a true beginner class where they teach you the different positions and how to plié and stuff with basic (and slow) counts. Instead, I'm in a class with adult ballerinas who apparently know french and can perform the complicated steps the instructor is giving us. I feel like I've been thrown to the wolves. To use a skating analogy, it feels like I'm an Adult Basic 1 level skater who has been thrown into a Freestyle 4 class and am somehow expected to keep up.
I'm worried that since I'm just looking at the other dancers and trying to copy them so I don't look foolish, I'm not really learning proper technique (or anything at all really). I'm here to learn how to do things properly, not just how to keep up with the others. Anyway, I have three more prepaid sessions and I'll see where I'm at then. Everyone in the class is so very supportive, encouraging, and kind and they keep promising me that I'll get the hang of it. But is this really what an "adult beginner" class is supposed to be like? I really love this and want to do well but I feel like I'm being set up for failure.
Ok, I guess I should talk about what we worked on. We warmed up at the barre for a good while and at least this felt easier than last time. Again, I had to watch the girl in front of me because I still don't know all of these french terms but I wasn't as lost as last time. Then we moved to the center to work on glissades, arabesques with turns, and a waltz step thing that we did diagonally across the floor two-by-two. It was the waltz step that terrified me the most because I felt so exposed. At least during the class people are so busy looking at themselves in the mirror that they don't notice me flailing in the back doing all the wrong steps. But now I have to go through the center with all eyes on me? Anxiety ensues! One of the girls saw me struggling and offered to go through the center with me and, while we awaited our turn, she gave me a quick lesson on the steps. Super thankful for her! When I finally got the hang of it she gushed about how proud she was of me! I felt like a puppy who finally understood what "sit" meant and she was about to give me a treat for a job well done.
How am I just expected to pick up on all of these steps on my second class? I'm trying to practice at home but if I don't know the steps in class how can I take what I've "learned" home with me to practice? I'm feeling super discouraged that I won't be capable of doing this after all. I feel like I'm most certainly out of my element.
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